I investigate the internal contradiction between desire for validation and fear of the ego. The paintings come to being through a back and forth of clarity and erasure. One piece of canvas is used repeatedly. An image is developed, and when clarity becomes inescapable, the image is painted over and a new one begins. This process continues until all means of approach to the image are exhausted, which catalyzes the action of meticulous destruction. The impulse for the painting’s erosion, by means of a laborious manual sanding process, is rooted in the inclination to obscure any ambiguity of the self. The deconstruction does not bring back the previous images on the substrate and instead creates a new one. The clarity is destroyed, the images dissolve, and any direct remnant of the self is completely reduced. Yet the painting remains. Its physical nature grounds it as an object to be witnessed, and therefore its creation actualized through its perception, both because and despite the labor of its creation.